It’s Day 4 of my NaBloPoMo November, and I’m having a blast! Speaking of fun, today’s theme is Embarrassing*. Speaking of not fun, be sure to catch yesterday’s post about how much I hated being a lawyer.
I knew when I decided to have kids that they would embarrass me from time to time. So far so good though, for the most part. Ell-Bell is too young to be embarrassing (except when she’s pulling down my shirt and exposing me in public), and K-Man tends to save his truly horrifying antics for inside the home.
But I have to say, K-Man got me good at the pediatrician the other day. You see, Hubby and I have decided not to mess around with cute names for the more private parts of the human anatomy. We’ve taught K-Man that a butt is a butt, and a penis is a penis. And now that Ell-Bell is in the picture, he knows all about vaginas too! Every night during bath time, K-Man is encouraged to wash his butt and his penis, and he likes to talk about it as he does it. “I need wash my butt and I need wash my pee-nis!” Perfectly normal, I think. That is, perfectly normal in the privacy of our own home!
So we were at the pediatrician the other day for flu shots, and K-Man was getting a quick check-up beforehand. He’s a really cute patient. He told the pediatrician what the otoscope was for, and then he leaned in helpfully as she looked in his ear.
But things got weird when the pediatrician pulled out the stethoscope. After first listening to his chest, she then leaned over him and said, “I’m just going to listen to your back now, ok?”
And for god knows what reason, Keegan responded quietly, “Tha’s my back. Aaaand tha’s my butt, aaand tha’s my pee-nis!” And words weren’t enough, no, he also gestured with his little finger in the direction of first his butt, and then his penis. And then he looked up at the pediatrician expectantly, with a super odd little smile on his face. What? Why? Why did he need to identify his butt and penis for her when she merely indicated that she was going to listen to his back? What was going on in that weird little brain?
I, of course, devolved into a fit of uncontrollable giggles, and didn’t come up for air for probably half a minute. Uncomfortable laughter, much? The pediatrician smiled gently and kept working through the check-up. I’m sure she hears weirder shit multiple times a day.
I don’t know why I was so embarrassed. I mean, I should be proud, right? My son knows his anatomy! But for whatever reason, I was totally mortified, and I think my face was red for the rest of the visit. I guess I’m not as down with potty language as I thought.
It’s ok though, K-man can embarrass me all he wants right now. I’m going to get him back so fricking good when he’s a teenager.
Until next time,
*Embarrassing is spelled with two Rs? Really? Since when?