Thursday Thoughts (on a Wednesday)

On December 13, 2017December 12, 2017 By VeeIn Family, Marriage, Parenting, Upstate New York5 Comments

It’s Wednesday, and I’m having some thoughts.

Like, why does Hubby refuse to rinse out whatever bowl or cup he uses to scramble eggs in? Is it because he enjoys my gagging sounds when I’m loading the dishwasher? Is there anything grosser than raw egg yolk dripping all over everything? *Vomit*

Also, why are the people waiting to use the family restroom I’m already using so impatient? Do they not know what kinds of things go on in the family restroom? Do their kids not need to take all manner of shoes and clothes off to go potty? Have they never changed a 20-wipe blowout? Do they think that trying the handle every 30 seconds is going to make my potty-training son poop any faster?

I’ve noticed that my kids have turned me into a human garbage disposal. They never finish any of their food and I ultimately end up playing clean up with my mouth. Hey, it’s closer than the trash can. (Floor noodles, anyone? No? Too far?)

Yesterday we had an epic snow here in Upstate New York and I felt like freaking Wonder Woman as I shoveled the driveway with two kids in tow. I also felt like my neighbors were staring at me out their windows, thinking to themselves that I have no fucking clue what I am doing. Maybe YouTube can teach me how to shovel snow?

Tomorrow, my in-laws are descending upon us for a few days. You guys know how I feel about that. I can’t wait to see what my Mother-in-Law got us all for Christmas this year. We sent an Amazon Wish List for the kids that went completely unacknowledged, so I’m sure we totally won’t be disappointed or offended at all. Blurgh.

The Star Wars release date is upon us, and the in-laws have volunteered to watch the munchkins so Hubby and I can have a day date and go see it. I’m kind of a Star Wars poser, but I get excited because it is fun to see Hubby excited. I will totally fall asleep halfway through the movie, for about 10 minutes, like I always do. I will wake up to Hubby glaring at me over his popcorn, like I always do. Hopefully somewhere deep down, he thinks it is a little bit adorable?

Until next time,

Vee

I Want Sleep Parity and I Want It Now!

On December 6, 2017 By VeeIn Marriage, Parenting8 Comments

If you have small kids, how do you and your Sig O share the load when it comes to night time and early morning wakings?

For Hubby and me, it has never been even a little bit close to equal. If one of the kids wakes during the night or before we’re up in the morning, I’m the default caretaker. This drives me nuts. I know it’s not healthy to keep score, but it’s kind of hard not to when I’m basically batting one thousand.

Biology is part of the problem. I breastfed both kids and so the assumption is that they are waking to eat, and I’m the food. I’d be curious to know, though, what the division of labor is for families where there is not a breastfeeding parent. Is it any more equal? And, needless to say, it’s not like Hubby started taking half the K-Man wakings when I weaned him.

Another count against biology: I’m apparently wired to wake up to the sounds of baby cries, and Hubby is not. Or at least that’s what he would like me to believe. I’m not entirely convinced he hasn’t been pretending to be asleep all this time. Either way, unless I roll over and physically wake him up to help out, I’m on my own. It is exhausting — and feels selfish — to have to always beg him to do his share.

To be fair, Hubby’s work schedule makes it impossible for him to wake up with the kids most days. That’s because on the days that he works, he’s usually leaving the house before they even get up. (And this is the part where you lose all sympathy for me, right? But the petty part of me has to point out that when I was working and Hubby was in school, I was still always the one getting up with K-Man, even on the weekends.)

I’m not asking for anything unreasonable. Here’s what I want: on the days that Hubby gets off, I want an even split between who gets to sleep in. And I don’t want to have to remind him or ask for it. I want it to be the default.

These days, if I want the chance to sleep in, we have to discuss it the night before. I have to make an appointment. And sometimes, come morning, Hubby doesn’t honor the appointment. Nothing makes me more grumpy than waking up with the kids when I was led to believe I was going to get an extra hour of glorious sleep.

Last week, Hubby randomly had three mornings off in a row. Great, I thought, I’ll get to sleep in at least once this week! We didn’t discuss anything before the first morning off, so Hubby slept in. I was fine with that, he works hard and deserves his time off. That night, though, we talked and Hubby volunteered that he would let me sleep in on the second morning. However, when Ell-Bell woke for the day with her cranky cries, Hubby opened his eyes for a few seconds, rolled over, and went back to sleep. After I gave him a thorough reaming when he finally did get up, Hubby promised I could sleep in on the third morning. Well, needless to say, Ell-Bell woke up on Day 3 and Hubby wasn’t budging. So I passive-aggressively brought her in to bed with us. She grunted and screeched, but Hubby still snored on. Finally, I swore loudly and stormed out of bed. Hubby woke for a few seconds to ask “What’s wrong?” but he didn’t follow up when I didn’t answer and left the room. I came back up a few minutes later to get K-Man’s monitor, and Hubby was like, “leave it, I got him.” Seething, I told him it didn’t fucking matter and stomped away. Another five minutes later, I heard Hubby coming down the stairs, and I instantly felt regret and guilt. Why am I such a monster about this stuff? Why can’t I just act like an adult and calmly resolve these issues with my Hubby? Halp!

So yeah, I have some work to do on coming to terms with my current sleep situation. You know what else would solve this problem, though? Kids who don’t wake up in the middle of the night! And kids who don’t wake up at the butt crack of dawn! Little turds.

Until next time,

Vee

#NaBloPoMo Day 21: Our Proposal Story

On November 21, 2017November 21, 2017 By VeeIn Family, Marriage4 Comments

Welcome to NaBloPoMo Day 21. So what’s the theme du jour? It’s the theme of the day! (Raise your hand if that Dumb and Dumber quote gets you every time.). But today’s actual theme is Proposal. Yes, more mawwiage stuff.

What’s your dream proposal? And if you’ve ever been proposed to before, did it live up to the hype?

Hubby’s first proposal to me was after just a few months of dating. “Hey, do you wanna get married so I can make more money from the Army?” I told him to shove it.

Hubby’s second proposal to me was simple but sweet. Nearly perfect.

About 5 years into our dating relationship, I knew it was coming. We were living together, we had cats, and one of my good friends had just gotten married so my marriage clock was ticking. We had been talking about the possibility for a few months, and had even been ring shopping together. (He sold his car to pay for the ring. I mean, how cute is that?)

So when Hubby asked if we could go up to Connecticut for the weekend to visit his parents, warning bells sounded in my head. Could this be it? As we took the train from NYC to New Haven, both of my parents randomly checked in on me via text and wished me a good day. Weird. (Come to find out Hubby had asked for their respective permission before proposing, and filled them in on his plans. So they were being nosy and annoying.)

When we got to CT, Hubby’s Mom served us all lemonade in their gorgeous back yard. Then Hubby asked if we could go for a walk through the small apple orchard. As we started to stroll around, Hubby’s Dad came out to water some plants nearby, but scurried away quickly when he realized what was about to go down.

I don’t remember exactly how it happened. I remember Hubby subconsciously kept tapping the ring box in his pocket, which was cute. I also remember I tried to hug him while we were ambling around, but he kind of stiff-armed me. He told me later he didn’t want me to feel how fast his heart was beating.

After a few moments of conversation, Hubby joked about how he had asked me this once before, but this time it was for real. And then he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. It was the first time I saw the ring, and even though we discussed what I might want, it was so unexpected and breathtaking and gorgeous. One carat princess cut with two tear drop side diamonds, swoon. I still stare at it in amazement to this day.

After the proposal, I kind of fell to my knees goofily so I could be eye level with Hubby. I felt awkward hanging out up there by myself! But Hubby made me stand back up and accept the proposal properly. I said yes, of course.

Then we returned to his parents’ house to share the news. And about five minutes later, I went out to the drug store to buy my first bridal magazine, because duh. And about a year later, we sealed the deal at the chapel on the campus where we went to high school together. And a charming marriage ensued.

Until next time,

Vee

#NaBloPoMo Day 1: Marriage is Hard

On November 1, 2017November 1, 2017 By VeeIn Family, Marriage, Parenting10 Comments

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m taking on NaBloPoMo this November, and because I’m a little special at using the internet, I’ve gone ahead and crafted my own list of 30 themes. Marriage is kind of a big deal, so I figured why not kick things off on Day 1 with a post dedicated to Married Life?

First things first, am I the only person who hears the word “marriage” and immediately converts it to “mawwiage”? Raise your hand if you grew up watching the Princess Bride. (Side story, Hubby and I were in a fit of giggles during our vows on our wedding day, because we kept whispering “mawwiage” to each other. #RealMature).

mawwiage

Anyway, marriage is hard, y’all. Every marriage requires major compromise and consists of significant unrest (let’s be honest). And also, marriage is petty. So in the spirit of being majorly petty, I’m going to take a few minutes to dish on my husband. Because, god love him, he can be a bit of a butt-head.

butthead

So why, you ask, is Hubby a butt-head? Well…

He DEMANDS that the toilet paper be installed with the flap on top. When we first started dating, I unknowingly replaced the toilet paper with the flap hiding in the back, and boy oh boy did I get an earful. But I mean, I had lived the first 21 years of my life with no rhyme or reason to how each new roll of toilet paper was installed, and I turned out ok, so …
While we’re on the subject of toilets, Hubby spends HOURS on the porcelain throne. And he usually decides to go to the bathroom at the worst time. Like, when I’m drowning in kids. He’s all, “oops, nature calls, gotta go sit on the toilet and scroll Imgur for 30 minutes.” And let’s be honest, I’m not above texting him while he’s relieving himself and asking him to hurry the EFF up. I mean, I’m drowning in kids, after all.
Moving out of the bathroom and into the kitchen: when Hubby is done using a knife, he likes to leave it on the counter with the handle hanging over the edge. Jesus H, it’s not like we have two little munchkins running around pulling shit off the counters at every opportunity or anything . . . Fack!
Hubby does not know how to load the dishwasher. He’s like, SO bad at it that I’ve considered writing him a manual. Of course, I should be so lucky when he actually takes it upon himself to load the dishwasher. More often than not, he puts his used dishware on the counter … the completely clean counter … the one that I’ve just cleared of dirty dishes that are now in the dishwasher. I brought this up last night and Hubby said, “How am I supposed to know that the dishes in the dishwasher are dirty?” Gee, mystery of mysteries.
He is a horrible grocery shopper. It takes him like an hour and a half to get a cart-full of things that would take me 20 minutes to collect. I don’t understand it, and I have to do a lot of “serenity now”-ing while I sit at home (drowning in kids) waiting for him to finish.
Hubby likes to slip into accidental naps on the couch while I’m in the other room, drowning in kids.
He does not wake up to the baby crying in the middle of the night. So, you know, I’m not allowed to get mad at him that he doesn’t volunteer to go in to soothe the baby, because it’s not his fault that he doesn’t wake up.

So yeah, that’s Hubby in all his Imgur-scrolling, couch-napping glory. As for me, well, I think I have a pretty good idea what this list would look like if Hubby was writing about me. I won’t lie to you guys, I’m not perfect: I like to leave the Pringles foil seal partially attached to the can after I open it; I never EVER notice the perforated lines when I’m opening a box of food; and uh, yeah, I guess I’m a bit of a nag.

Every marriage has its quirks, and honestly, I think we need these minor frustrations to keep things running. If we didn’t blow off steam nagging each other about the dishes and the Pringles foil seal, who knows what kind of epic explosion could be in store down the road. And to be completely honest, the things that make Hubby a butt-head, well, I think most of them are kind of cute. I’d miss them if, heaven forbid, we were no longer together.

The dude drives me nuts, but he sure makes me smile.

Until next time,

Vee

#NaBloPoMo, Here I Come

On October 30, 2017October 30, 2017 By VeeIn Uncategorized29 Comments

Is NaBloPoMo still a thing? When I was blogging before, I was vaguely aware that in November, some bleeps (blog peeps, duh) participated in something called National Blog Posting Month, where the goal was to post a blog entry every single day. After about about 5 minutes of Google searching, my impression is that NaBloPoMo is no longer hip or with it. Or at the very least, no one is talking about it this year. (Or everyone is talking about it and I’m really bad at Googling). But I don’t care if I’m a few years late to the party. I’m into it. I hereby declare this November my NaBloPoMo.

And because I couldn’t find the sanctioned NaBloPoMo prompts for this year, I created my own list of daily themes that I plan to touch on. If you’re some kind of genius (or entry-level internet user, whatever) who knows where the official list of prompts is, just maybe keep it to yourself rather than exposing my internet ineptitude, ok?

So my thirty days of NaBloPoMo themes are below. I’m hoping they give me the opportunity to write about some things on my mind, and maybe tell you a little bit more about myself. And while I’m a lawyer by trade, intellectual property law is not my specialty, so these babies are absolutely not copyrighted. Feel free to borrow any or all themes if you’ve got the NaBloPoMo bug, too

Drum roll, please…

Married Life
Ex-Boyfriends/Ex-Girlfriends
Career
Embarrassing
Jealousy
Birthdays
In-laws
Police Encounters
High School
Fathers
Veterans
Photograph
Superstition
Money
Frenemy
Reality TV
Sports
Discipline
Injury
Pets
Proposal
Visitors
Thankful
Shopping
Diet
Dream House
Christmas
Charity
Hair
Books

November is coming, my friends. And it’s the most wonderful month of the year. (Except for December, of course).

Until next time,

Vee

#CuteKids

On October 23, 2017October 20, 2017 By VeeIn Family, Marriage, Parenting, Upstate New York9 Comments

Hi, I’m Vee, and I have cute kids. Two, to be exact. And a pretty darn cute husband too. While I used to be a corporate litigation attorney in Washington, D.C., my family recently moved to upstate New York for my husband’s new job. And with the move, a new title for me: stay-at-home mom. Yay? Yikes? Only time will tell. I will say that this career change was very much wanted, and I will say that I have a lot–a LOT–of reservations. I’m giving myself grace and if it’s too fricking* hard, then bully for me for trying, and back to the lawyering world I go!

Since this is my inaugural post, I guess a few more details about me and my cuties are warranted. As for me, I grew up in the American southwest. Love me some cactus, hate me some rattlesnakes. I went to college in Canada (ice ice baby), and law school in the northeast (clam chowdah baby). Then it was 3 years in New York City as an associate at a top-tier law firm, and 4 more years in D.C. as an associate at a satellite office of the same law firm. I guess that’s not a small amount of moving around. I’m 31-years-old (almost 32 but shut up ok?) and I’m a Scorpio. Not that I know anything about astrology … but maybe that detail is relevant for those of you who do.

I met the husband (“Hubby”) in high school, but we didn’t start dating until the end of college. We’ve been married for just over five years, and I think we’re pretty good stuff. We certainly have our issues, but they’re workable. Hubby just finished med school in D.C., and then started his residency program up here in July. He is a 33-year-old Gemini, for those of you keeping score.

Our son, who I’ll refer to as “K-man” for now, is a glorious little tow-headed two-year-old. He’s my world. He’s a nightmare in the flesh. Like, good lord, are all two-year-olds sociopaths or is my kid broken? K-man, an Aquarius, enjoys playing with Hotwheel cars — like, ALL the Hotwheel cars — and munching on bowls full of Pepperidge Farms goldfish. I have a sneaking suspicion he’s a genius, but it’s hard to wade through the bias.

Our daughter, “Ell-Bell” for the time being, is almost eleven-months-old. Girlfriend is chuuu-bby. Like, that’s the first thing strangers will say about her when they see her. I hope they stop, soon, before she develops a complex. She also has the most mesmerizing blue eyes I’ve ever seen — swoon! Ell-Bell is a Sagittarius who enjoys cheese sticks and stealing Hotwheels from her brother. They already love each other so much.

So that’s our little family. Why this blog, why now? Well, I used to blog feverishly about my efforts to get pregnant with K-man, and I found it very therapeutic. Alas, that blog has served its purpose, and I feel like it’s time to start fresh. I find myself narrating blog posts in my head all the time, so why not put pen to paper?

I hope that this will be a blog about everything. Parenting, marriage, extended family, life up here in the frigid north, shower thoughts, etc., etc. I’m not that picky. Honestly, I’m just a girl who’s alone in a new place, with an isolating job, and I need someone to talk to! A blank screen will do the trick.

Until next time,

Vee

*Sometimes I get a little excited and use “colorful” language. I’ve tried to be good in this post, but I can’t promise future posts won’t drop a few four-letter words here and there. I’d love to say “sorry not sorry” but I actually am kind of sorry. So, yeah, sorry in advance.